Dungeon Fantasy Interlude: One bourbon, one scotch, & one beer. And for my 2nd course, I’ll have…

Between Episodes 3 and 4, the party took a little time out to initiate Sad Harry as the newest member of the team.

Once it had been decided that Zen would take on the mopey apprentice, Brody informed the group of a solemn dwarven tradition that must be observed, on such an occasion. “To the bar!” Once arrived, the group took their normal table, adding a new seat for Sad Harry, and a stool for Ugh, who was happy to drink from a bowl of beer, and gnaw on bone. Ordering “Dwarven Shots” all around, the party were each given a large tankard of rum, aside from Frau Blucher, whose own holy tankard was filled with what Tessreene informed them was her last bit of dwarven spirits. The bartender then slid into Frau’s lap, and began to nibble at her ear, as the parry began the ritual. Brody informed all gathered of the rules. “Alright, this is simple. Last one standing wins. Drink up!” Everynne and Jianjun declined, citing a preference for wine and tea, respectively, and having no wish to end up stumbling out of the inn, sick.

Excited to have his first drink of alcohol, Sad Harry upturned his mug, took a deep swallow, and…. Fell over backwards,  eyes rolling back in his head, and foam erupting from his nose and mouth. (When I made the HT check to see how he handled the strong drink, the dice came up 18. on 3 dice. A Critical failure, and in my humble opinion, worth adding the quirk “Alcohol intolerance” to his character sheet.) Being a stout dwarf, Brody fared much better, showing no effects, and calling for another round. Both Frau and Grognak coughed and sputtered, failing to maintain their feet, but finishing the rest of their drinks.  Zen was able to match the dwarf drink for drink, but left the battle unfinished as she was responsible for returning the unconscious boy-wizard to bed. Brody, invigorated by strong drink and the victory over his compatriots, left the bar, taking Ugh out for a bit of late night mining. Zen, distracted by a stranger at the bar, left Sad Harry to sleep it off on a table, tipping Tessreene to cover him with a blanket, allowing Frau the chance to escape. Half an hour later, Zen left the bar, admiring her new sword, and sipping on an expensive glass of elven wine. Her new ward forgotten.

I am certain, that this contest will happen again, to its full and horrible conclusion, but I was quite pleased how a short round of drinking went. It also seemed like a fun bit of content for its own post, and perhaps a chance to flesh out folk’s choice of beverage.

Tessreene offers a long list of fun things to imbibe, but here’s a short one of the standards, and a bit of info for those interested about such things.. I’m guessing Frau and Grognak’s players might benefit from this most..

First, who makes what?

Humans, like ya do, make a lot of booze. Ale, wine, and a wide array of distilled liquor. What they lack in centuries of practice and esoteric lore, they make up for with quantity. You can always find human made hooch. The stout humans from the far north prefer to ferment honey, rather than grain or grape, to make Mead. It’s strong and sweet, and often found served by the cup, mug, or gallon.

Elves, the nature loving, pointed ear hippies that they are, make wine. And they make the best stuff available, if you don’t mind paying for the pleasure. While wine isn’t the only thing elves make, it is the most common.. If you know the right people, and have “Lord” or “Highness” before your name, you can, on occasion, find very fine elven brandy, but like the British, Elves save the good stuff for Christmas and Coronation Day.

Dwarves don’t bother with the weak stuff, preferring distilling to all other forms of booze. While Dwarven whiskey and rum are more widely available, made by the dwarven equivalent of hipsters, the stout stuff, called simply “Dwarven Spirits”, is made from mushrooms. Various specimens give you different results, but its all about 180 proof, and the consistency of gravy.  Dwarves don’t mind selling their wares to the rest of the world, so if you’re in a place with a good community, it’s not hard to come by…

People do talk of “Dwarven Brewmasters”, but these shadowy figures are more akin to alchemists than bartenders..  Not that Dwarven potions aren’t all at least 80 proof, because they are.

Now, on to the important part.  Here is what you can buy, most times, from your standard inn, such as the Salacious Unicorn. Note: these are prices for drinks purchased for the road.  The party’s day-to-day drinking is covered in their $150 a week cost of living. 

  • Ale: $5 /gallon
  • Distilled Spirits: $16/pint
  • Dwarven Spirits: $32/pint
  • Grog:  $8/pint
  • Mead: $11/gallon
  • Wine: $9/gallon
  • Wine, Elven: $20/gallon
  • Tea, Black $2.25/oz. – $1/pint
  • Tea, Green $2.25/oz. – $1/pint
  • Tea, Tarbean: $10/lb. – $2/pint

This short list is mainly for the day-to-day, so I can make sure my players mark off what they buy.. There are, however, other more potent potables available, discussed at length in the Grognak’s Beard Award-winning tome; GURPS Dungeon Fantasy 10: Taverns, but due to their specialized nature, and diligent creators, I will refrain from posting them here.
So join us next time on Dungeon Fantasy Interlude, when we visit Eland’s Enchanters Emporium, “The local shop for all you wizard needs” to learn all about staves and wands, and why exactly, you want a robe. Hint; it’s because wizards hate pants..

Thanks for reading, folks.

– Conner

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